Why showing up still matters

Last Friday, I sat in a room full of people from businesses and organisations across South East Melbourne at a BNI Mega Chapter meeting of approximately 330 people and something clicked for me.

I have been a member of BNI since March, as part of the Pakenham Achievers chapter. We are now 80 members strong and growing almost every week.

My introduction to BNI actually started before I understood any of this.

An incredible human who is now a personal friend, Khatija Halabi, invited me to visit the chapter. Khatija has been part of Pakenham Achievers for more than 10 years, holding the audiologist category, and if I am completely truthful, on the morning I first walked into the room I had very little idea what BNI was, why it would be relevant to me or why I needed to be there.

Khatija knew.

She saw an alignment before I could see it for myself and simply opened the door for me to experience it. There was no big sell. It was an invitation to come, meet the people and see what I thought.

I knew pretty early on that I liked being there. I liked the people, the energy and the generosity. I liked that it was local and, as I headed in a new direction with my practice, I had no idea where any of it might lead. There was something about the culture that felt familiar to me and, as I looked around the room on Friday, I understood why I had felt such a strong sense of belonging from the beginning.

The values were everywhere.

BNI is built around the philosophy of Givers Gain® and the belief that when we actively look for ways to help others succeed, we create stronger relationships and opportunities for everyone. It asks people to keep learning, show up for each other, be accountable for their part and genuinely take an interest in the success of the people around them.

As I sat there listening to the members, I realised I was watching so much of what I believe about Shared Performance being lived in the everyday moments of an organisation. People were connecting and building relationships week after week, learning to communicate clearly about what they needed while listening for what others needed too, with an expectation that everyone had something to contribute to the success of the people around them. Connection, communication and contribution were happening all around me.

Every week you have to show up. There really isn't much point being part of BNI if you don't. You see the same people, sit alongside them, hear about their businesses and slowly get to know more about the human being behind the business. Then there are the one-to-ones outside the weekly meeting where you get to understand each other even more.

Consistency creates something between people.

They start to know you and what you are working towards. They notice when you aren't there. They encourage you when something is going well and often know when something isn't.

I think we underestimate in these times how much people need that.

The World Health Organization released its first major global report on social connection in 2025 and found that one in six people worldwide experiences loneliness. What I found particularly interesting was how they described social connection. It includes how often we interact with others, the support we exchange and the quality of those interactions.

For those running businesses or leading organisations, connection can easily become something we push down the list, yet the more isolated our work becomes, the more intentional we may need to be about creating it.

We live in a time where we can contact almost anyone, anywhere, at any time and still feel disconnected. There is something powerful about being in a room with people who know your name, know what you are trying to build and expect to see you again next week.

Then there is the communication.

You get a very short amount of time each week to tell people what you do and who you are looking to meet. It teaches you pretty quickly that if you can't communicate that clearly, the people around you have very little chance of being able to refer you.

Of course, it works both ways. For the model to work, you need to listen closely enough to understand what everyone else needs too.

That is where I think the magic really starts to happen.

When I know your business well enough that I can be somewhere completely unrelated to BNI, hear somebody talking about a problem or an opportunity and immediately think of you.

A warm referral carries something with it that a cold introduction never can: trust.

Someone is effectively saying, I know this person. I believe they can help you. You should talk.

Looking around the Mega Chapter room, I started thinking about the contribution sitting inside it. Every person in that room knows people the person beside them doesn't know. They have experience, knowledge, skills, encouragement, relationships and opportunities that someone else may need.

Gallup has studied the impact of strong relationships at work for years. Its recent research, drawing on data from more than 180,000 teams, found that if organisations doubled the proportion of people who have a strong workplace friendship, they could see 12% higher profitability and 24% higher quality.

There is commercial value in strong human relationships, but their value reaches much further. We can help someone move forward through a referral that opens a door, an introduction they couldn't make themselves, advice at exactly the right time, or simply by believing in what they are building and encouraging them to keep going.

I also see the same philosophy being lived by the leadership of the South East Melbourne region.

Sangeeta Bajaj, the new Executive Director of BNI Melbourne South East, has been part of BNI for many years. She originally joined as a bookkeeper and has spoken about how much being part of the organisation changed her personally and professionally. She stepped into the directorship with a genuine belief that others could experience that same opportunity through living the Givers Gain philosophy and being focused on helping others succeed.

What I noticed though was that her ambition for the region wasn't something she was trying to achieve on her own.

Together with Marcus Adams, Regional Director of BNI Melbourne South East, there is a real understanding that growth happens through people working together. Marcus holds the legal services category in Pakenham Achievers and has been involved with the chapter since it launched more than 20 years ago. Along with their Regional Team, they have people representing chapters from across South East Melbourne who are actively contributing to where the region is going.

You can see it in the way they lead. There is belief, energy and encouragement, but there is also an expectation that everyone has a part to play. They create opportunities for others to lead, contribute and strengthen the community around them.

Since December, the South East Melbourne region has grown from around 220 members to 335. Pakenham Achievers has grown to 80 members, has been the number one chapter in Australia for six of the first eight months of this year and is the largest chapter in BNI Australia's history.

Very cool when you simply make it about helping others be awesome.

Numbers will always tell a growth story, but the people will always tell you why.

For me, that is Shared Performance in practice. When people connect well, communicate clearly and actively contribute to each other's success, working together becomes a performance advantage. Leaders create the conditions for that to happen, then trust and encourage others to contribute to something bigger than any one person could build alone.

There was something else that mattered to me when I joined. I wanted to know the people in my local community and build relationships for the long game. To understand what people were building, where they were going and where I might be able to help along the way.

Sitting in that room on Friday, I realised that was the resonance I had been feeling all along.

Maybe that is why communities like this matter so much right now.

People need people. We need places to belong, people who believe in us, opportunities to contribute and sometimes a little encouragement to keep going. 

Every now and then, we also need someone in our corner who says: I know someone you should meet.

A warm referral can go a very long way.

So can knowing that someone is looking out for you.

Everything really is better when we work together.

About Jess

Jess works with founders, business owners and executive leaders to build Shared Performance, creating the conditions for people to work better together and perform at their best.

With a background in sales and leadership, Jess brings this work to life through speaking, facilitation and advisory.

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References:

BNI Global. (n.d.). BNI Core Values. BNI. https://www.bni.com/about/

Gallup. (2025). Why Work Friends Matter: Unlocking Powerful Partnerships with CliftonStrengths. Gallup.

World Health Organization. (2025). From loneliness to social connection: Charting a path to healthier societies. Report of the WHO Commission on Social Connection. World Health Organization.

BNI Melbourne South East. (n.d.). BNI Melbourne South East. https://bnimse.com.au/en-AU/index

BNI Pakenham Achievers. (n.d.). BNI Pakenham Achievers. https://bnimse.com.au/bni-pakenham-achievers/en-AU/index